If only death doesn't exist...

It's been months since his death but I could not get over the fact that he had actually left us for good. That I will never be able to catch him around anymore when I drop by grandma's place. Although in the eye of others he might not been a good person and did not achieve much in life but to me he had been a dear family. However, to be honest people used to brain wash me by telling me what a failure he is and that I should study hard so I would not end up like him. I hope that he know how sorry I am for all the times I been rude and for looking down on him.

There are moments that I will never forget; seeing him lying unconscious in the hospital bed and then in his coffin, listening to the sounds of the wheel while he is being pused into the temple to be cremated and the moment where everyone shouted for him to leave. What I hated the most was when someone found out about his death the first thing they would say is "It's a good thing he does not have a wife". What is wrong with these people? Someone just died, why would that be a good thing?? and he is only 37, he might have a great life ahead of him!!!

No matter what he would always be my dearest family, I would always cherish the moments we had. The mocking, fighting, crazy IQ challenges, cheating in card games and all the yam cha sessions. Wherever he is now I hope that he is happy.

JJ's Fullmoon

Celebrated my nephew's full moon at home last Saturday. It was nothing special, just like usual with all the uncle and auntie coming for free food. Was really bored and piss with all the naughty children running around. Helped my bro took some pictures and later entertain myself with Cluedo with a few cousins.

Cute lil baby JJ changing diaper, was suppose to take a picture of his "kuku" bird but failed :(

Baby JJ with his daddy...

First Day = Worst Day??

Yesterday was suppose to be my first day at work but it ended up to be one of the worst day ever! I started off the day by tripping over my youngest brother's mattress in the morning which resulted a huge bruise on my right arm. Then when I left the house I forget my house key. I also got to work late and got a mean look from the HR lady. What a good impression I must had made -_- That's not it! Halfway through the induction I realise I lost the parking chip.

Then the worst one is I got MISPLACED to the wrong department! Apparently there is some misunderstanding in the HR department. I was suppose to be in the audit dept. but now I ended up in the learning dept. under audit *sweat*

During lunch hour I have ALSO realise I FORGET my wallet and I was like SHITTT! How the hell am I gonna pay for the fine and eat?

Anyway I was lucky that I had a friend working in the same building, so I phone her up and borrowed some money and in the end I did manage to find the parking chip after a long hard search in the parking area.

Updates on birthday party

Okay! I have just realise that I sux in blogging! I just never have the initiative to blog, it's always either i am too busy or would rather spend the time doing somethings else AND I am just not good with words.

Anyway here are the updates and pictures I promise regarding my birthday party....

Although the preparation for the party was tremendous with all the planning and last minute crisis, I was really glad that everything turn up fine. I must also thank a few friends of mine for their help in making this night possible, hope you know who you are... THANK YOU! The biggest disaster on the day itself was that the cake topple over in the car while I was bringing it home! I nearly broke down and cried as I specially design and requested for the cake, but the lady was really nice as she was willing to help me fix it and even delivered it to my house. She replaced the lowest layer of the cake with a dummy as she could not bake it in time but no one realise :p

my cake

cake from my dearest daddy

Despite all the minor crisis I must admit it's been a while since I had such a great time :) especially in Poppy when I got really high Lol... I must have really make a fool out of myself.

Some pictures with frens and family..

Back home~~

I am back home in Malaysia now and decided to start blogging once again! To keep my dear friends in Manchester up to date, and to prevent an idiot from nagging me. lol.. Had been home for 4 days now, but it seems like a decade. Been really busy these few days with my birthday party and catching up with friends, hardly had any sleep :(

It's has been a few years since i last throw a party thus i decided to have one this year. I started planning for this party about a month ago, with the help of a few good friends! Hope that they know how much i appreciate it. Will write more about my birthday party and other things later on, really need some sleep right now. ~~*

The courage to dream....

I came across a quote while I was surfing the net. The quote goes like this...

"The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep ad awake, when you don't know the differences between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened."

I used to dream a lot and dream big but somehow as years pass I don't dream anymore. I guess I have been hit hard by reality and I suddenly realise how pointless it is to dream. Reality can be really harsh. Sometime I really miss the old me, the me who is carefree and never afraid to dream.

Deep thoughts...

While I was trying to sleep yesterday night a thought stumble on my mind. I suddenly felt alone, well not that I am lonely or desperate mind you. It's just that I realise that every single person in this universe is alone. As no one will see and feel the way you do and most people only got involve in a certain part of you life. How would they really know u? how would they know what makes you , the person you are today? and understand your experiences and feelings? and I wonder why people always says they understand. Is there a single person in this world who truly knows you ? knows your thought? your secret? your past? your feelings? I am sure that everyone has secret, huge and tiny ones. I have lots of secrets and I am rather sure that there is no one who truly knows me, although I must say that there certain people who knows me better than others.